Inu's eyes twinkled with exuberance as she fed the one-year old. The day she had been intently anticipating had finally breezed in. As she dotingly fondled the baby's forehead she was awe-struck to see the contrariety of the white skin vibrant under her own sooty flesh. She gazed outside the window... it was same through which Puchki had informed her about the gratifying news some two hours ago. She was now desperate to get back home. She knew it would have to be today...Granny had been home for more than a week. Puchki entered the room as the sky turned into a brilliant blue bespeckled with black and purple. Inu smiled at her friend as she prepared to leave. The baby had dozed off in her lap. She carefully tiptoed out of the room after transferring the sleeping infant in Puchki's arms. Her heart fluttered as she rushed towards her home. Even the five minutes walk seemed like hours to her in her elation...She finally reached home, a dilapidated hut made up of thatched roof and mud walls. She had expected the door to be open but it was tightly shut. She knocked frantically until her father opened the door, his eyes expressionless at her arrival. Granny was nowhere to be seen and her mother lay scrambled on the cot, her clothes in disarray,her hair tussled and her face concealed in the darkness of the room. Inu looked around for a flicker of joy in her parents' eyes but all she could do was stare into blank faces. She slowly brought out an object wrapped in a filthy glittery paper from the left pocket of her frock. She then questioned her mother who did not utter a word... She implored her father who was carrying a pitcher filled with boiling water outside the door... he too didn't reciprocate. As soon as her father came back inside, she ran outside unwrapping the little object she had in her hand. It was a plastic milk bottle she had brought out of her year long earnings for her darling new-born sister 'Chiku'. She had decided the name the day she got the news of her mother's pregnancy. She had lived alone for seven long years! A sister would surely have filled the vacuum in her little heart. Her apprehensions and anticipations evaporated and dwindled as she looked down at the pitcher kept at the doorstep...She stood benumbed at the sight...the blood bismirched pulp of a baby's carcass... her face smudged... limbs barely visible...A deafening scream reverberated as the bottle dropped down from Inu's hand, welling her eyes for eternity!
South Delhi, Outside your home
Beginning of September, 5:30 P.M.
I put down the box of your favourite pastries at the doorstep. The door is bolted...I
SMS you but your reply is the same as usual. I call you... once, twice, thrice... 'The A
irtel number you are trying to call is on another call, please stay on line or call again later'... Finally successive rings...then...' The number you have called is busy'... then again successive rings... nobody answers... I give a last try...'The number you have called is switched off...'Dejected I write a note on a piece of paper and leave.
In the University, Faculty of Arts, North Campus
August,11:25 A.M.
I walk down to the Canteen to have a glass of Banana Shake... the thought of itself is refreshing after two long lectures... As I walk unaware of myself I see girls and boys immersed in discussions and animated conversations.... I see a group of people are seated near the Central Library engrossed in a heated debate surrounding the host of a TV show. I stop for a few minutes meditating what to do... then I look closely at everyone present in the periphery of the library... A flicker of ignited hope...dampens gradually.
Another Wednesday Morning At Home
October, 11:55 A.M.
I sit glued in front of the TV set watching my favourite channel... Another wonderful episode of 'U Special' comes to an end...A gush of adrenaline with tints of anticipation transcends upon me as the closing credits flash on the screen. My eyes linger on the screen till I find your name... A blossoming of happiness, a burst of satisfaction and then a
deteriorating decline into actuality...
Cafe Coffee Day, Tolstoy
Marg,
Connaught Place
End of September, 1:00 P.M.
With a glass of
Kaapi Nirvana in one hand and a pen in another I am copying down some important excerpts in a notebook...from...a British Council Library book on Ben Jonson. The jukebox is playing some songs but I don't really like them... I turn on the radio on my mobile phone and plug in the earphones... 94.3 F.M. playing the
end notes of some latest song... The next song... Euphoria's 'Ab
na jaa'... Memories flash back... All I can think of is you. I sit totally benumbed with my gaze affixed on the empty chairs near me.
At Home
Yesterday, 3:30 A.M.
Drowsy with fatigue... I give you a call...'The number you have called is on another call, please stay on line or call again later'. I switch off my mobile feeling a desperate urge to sleep, not realizing that this night is going to be another sleepless one.
In the car...Thinking while travelling through the roads of Delhi...
Today Evening.
With each passing day seconds have turned into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days and days into months...More than three months have passed since I last saw you... Is this city too big to stifle my emotions? Out of the hundreds and thousands of people I meet and see in the city each day why do I never chance upon seeing you somewhere? I hope to but does it even matter to you. Is misunderstanding such a vibrant and remorseful force that it wipes down the tiniest ability of understanding? Perhaps it is! That is what you have made me realize with each passing day. Life is not a board of chess... you just can't keep on starting afresh every time you lose the game. I never wanted to be your handicap... I just wanted you to know what I really feel and get an answer to why you suddenly changed this way... Perhaps you will never know what I really feel... You yourself have knowingly estranged yourself from everything that was, that is and that could ever be...
